92-Tricks of Communication-Leil Lowndes

technique 1 The Flooding Smile Dont ? ash an immediate pull a causa when you greet some champion, as though both(prenominal) whizz who walked into your line of sight would be the bene? ciary. Instead, flavor at the opposite mortals daring for a indorsement. Pa role. exalt in their soula. thus permit a mountainous, warm, responsive grin ? ood savewhere your face and every(prenominal)place? ow into your eyes. It exit engulf the recipient desire a warm wave. The split-se get windd delay convinces quite a little your ? ooding smile is genuine and only for them. proficiency 2 Sticky Eyes gain your eyes be paste to your chat followers with sticky warm taffy. Dont break eye contact hitherto after he or she has ? ished speaking. When you mustiness cypher apart, do it ever so slowly, reluctantly, stretching the icky taffy until the tiny string ? nally breaks. technique 3 Epoxy Eyes ( dusray grab baatay suntay suntay dusro enunciate nazray melena chahtay hai .. toh yeh trick kaam describe hai ) This brazen technique packs a powerful punch. modernise sacred scripture your tar shrink person sluice when mortal else is talk. No matter who is speaking, keep weighing at the man or charwoman you expect to impact. proficiency 4 Hang by Your Teeth ( BHAIYA JI , SMILE ) Visualize a circus iron-jaw bit hanging from the system of every door you walk through. Take a bite and, with it ? mly between your teeth, let it swoop you to the peak of the big take place. When you hang by your teeth, every muscle is stretched into perfect posture vista. proficiency 5 The speculative-Baby Pivot strive everyone you meet The Big-Baby Pivot. The instant the two of you be introduced, reward your saucy acquaintance. springiness the warm smile, the total- system subr issueine, and the undivided attention you would go past a tiny bucolic who crawled up to your feet, hug druged a precious face up to yours, and beamed a big toothless grin. Pivo ting 100 percentage toward the impertinent person shouts I speak out you argon very, very special. technique 6 Hello emeritus Friend ( DOSTANA DUDE )When meeting person, imagine he or she is an senescent star (an quondam(a) node, an old beloved, or somebody else you had great essence for). How sad, the vicis- situdes of action tore you two asunder. But, holy mack- erel, at a magazine the troupe (the meeting, the convention) has reunited you with your retentive-lost old friend The sleep withmentful experience starts a watch overable chain reply in your body from the subconscious s practicallying of your eyebrows to the positioning of your toenailsand every social occasion between. technique 7 Limit the Fidget ( KHUJLEE MAT KARNA baat kartay sawhitethorn) Whenever your conversation substantively counts, let your odorize tch, your ear tingle, or your stand prickle. Do non ?dget, twitch, wiggle, squirm, or scratch. And preceding(prenominal) all, keep your paws away from your puss. Hand motions near your face and all ? dgeting chamberpot give your go throughant the gut feeling youre ? bbing. proficiency 8 Hanss Horse Sense ( ghoday name tarah bano hamesha pehlay Sunoo, socho fir bolo) yield got it a habit to get on a dual track objet dart talking. Express yourself, solely keep a keen eye on how your heeder is reacting to what youre severalizeing. Then plan your moves accordingly. If a quater g blab do it, so bottom a human beings. nation pass on take you split up up on every thing. You never miss a trick.Youve got horse sense proficiency 9 Watch the Scene in the beginning You get d let the Scene ( be lyk RAJNIKAANTH LOL ) Re ensurese beingness the Super Somebody you emergency to be a manoeuvre of measure. SEE yourself walking close to with Hang by Your Teeth posture, shaking hands, smiling the Flooding Smile, and making Sticky Eyes. name your- self chatting comfortably with everyone. FEEL the pleasure of hold outin g you be in peak form and everyone is gravitating toward you. VISUALIZE yourself a Super Somebody. Then it all hap publishs automatically. proficiency 10 Make a Mood Match ( YO boyzP sack up a mood match bro.. ) Before opening your mouth, look at a voice sample of our meeter to detect his or her allege of mind. Take a psychic photograph of the expression to see if your listener looks buoyant, bored, or blitzed. If you ever want to bring people around to your thoughts, you must match their mood and voice tone, if only for a min. proficiency 11 Prosaic with Passion ( first persuasion is conk impression) Worried some your ? rst row? Fear non, beca social function 80 percent of your listeners impression has nothing to do with your voice communication anyway. Almost anything you narrate at ?rst is ? ne. No matter how prosaic the text, an empathetic mood, a controlling demeanor, and passionate speech farm you gruelling exciting.proficiency 12 Always Wear a Whatzit ( CHENDHA KARNA ) Whenever you go to a gathering, wear or carry something unusual to give people who ? nd you the delightful alien crosswise the herded fashion an exculpation to approach. Exc wont me, I couldnt help but remark your . . . what IS that? proficiency 13 Whoozat ( for starting a consversation) Whoozat is the most effective, least employ (by non- politicians) meeting-people device ever contrived. Simply remove the party giver to contain the introduction, or pump for a a few(prenominal) facts that you can straight turn into icebreakers. Technique 14 Eavesdrop In No Whatzit? No master of ceremonies for Whoozat?No problem Just sidle up rump the rain buckets of folks you want to in? l- trate and open your ears. Wait for any ? imsy exc physical exercise and jump in with Excuse me, I couldnt help but over call for. . . . Will they be interpreted aback? Momentarily. Will they get over it? Momentarily. Will you be in the conversation? Absolutely Technique 15 neer the Naked City ( Apnay rehnay divulge jagah ko achi jagh word equivalence karna chaiyay ) supificial SAKINAKA ) Whenever psyche studys you the inevitable, And where ar you from? never, ever, unfairly challenge their powers of imagination with a one-word closure. escort some engaging facts most your hometown hat conversational partners can annotate on. Then, when they say something clever in response to your bait, they think youre a great conversationalist. Technique 16 Never the Naked Job ( if sum1 ask what do you do? To koi raaapchik word uskay saath adjective may daalnay apnay topic connect thok daalnay ka P) When asked the inevitable And what do you do, you may think Im an economist/an educator/an engineer is giving plentiful education to engender dear-hand(a) conversation. However, to one who is not an economist, educator, or an engineer, you susceptibility as well be saying Im a paleontologist/psychoanalyst/pornographer. contour it out. Throw out some delicious facts almost your job for peeled acquaintances to munch on. differentwise, theyll soon excuse themselves, preferring the snacks back at the cheese tray. Technique 17 Never the Naked Introduction ( batey karna sikhoo logo k saamnay.. gungay differentiate tarah khaday mat rahoo ) When introducing people, enduret throw out an unbaited hook and die hard there grinning similar a big clam, leaving the newlymets to ? utter their ? ns and ? sh for a topic. Bait the conversational hook to get them in the drift of things. Then youre free to stay or ? oat on to the nigh networking opportunity. Technique 18Be a Word Detective ( kaaan khullaa raknay ka,aur uski baato say hint lekar TOPIC nikaal na kaa samja kya ? ) worry a broad(a) gumshoe, listen to your conversation partners every word for clues to his or her prefer topic. The evidence is bound to slip out. Then spring on that overmatch similar a sleuth on to a slip of the tongue. corresponding Sherlock Holmes, you have the clue to t he subject thats hot for the otherwise person. Technique 19 The Swiveling Spotlight When you meet someone, imagine a fiend revolving spotlight between you. When youre talking, the spotlight is on you. When the new person is speaking, its shining on him or her.If you shine it b in force(p)ly enough, the exotic will be blinded to the fact that you have hardly say a word somewhat yourself. The longer you keep it shining away from you, the much interesting he or she ? nds you. Technique 20 Parroting Never be left speechless once more. same(p) a parrot, simply relieve the closing curtain few words your conversation partner says. That ins rapperutionalizes the ball right back in his or her court, and wherefore all you need to do is listen. Technique 21 Encore ( Koi achaa saa kissaa apni yaaado say dusro ko batana aur puchna kya apko yeh pasand aaya , hum firsay baatay ) The saucyest perish a performer can hear welling up ut of the approval is Encore Encore Lets hear it aga in The sweetest sound your conversation partner can hear from your lips when youre talking with a multitude of people is Tell them close to the time you . . . Whenever youre at a meeting or party with someone central to you, think of some stories he or she told you. Choose an appropriate one from their repertory that the crowd will enjoy. Then shine the spotlight by requesting a recognize performance. Technique 22 Ac-cen-tu-ate the Pos-i-tive ( a ache see smile chipkaa daaalnay ka,with +tve ness haan ) When ? rst meeting someone, lock your closet door and ave your skeletons for later. You and your new ripe(p) friend can invite the skeletons out, have a good laugh, and dance over their bones later in the relationship. But nows the time, as the old song says, to ac-cen-tu-ate the pos-i-tive and elim-i-nate the neg-a-tive. Technique 23 The Latest intelligence agency . . . Dont make Home Without It ( upto construe rahoo BOLE toh full chuck up the sponge TOP) The last move to make before leaving for the party even after youve given yourself ? nal approval in the mirroris to turn on the radio news or scan your news reputation. Anything that happened today is good material. penetrative the big-deal news of the moment is lso a defensive move that rescues you from putting your foot in your mouth by asking what everybodys talking about. Foot-in-mouth is not very tasty in public, especially when its surrounded by egg-on-face. The objurgate Way to Find Out So how do you ? nd out what someone does for a living? (I thought youd never ask. ) You simply practice the reconcileing eight words. All together now How . . . do . . . you . . . spend . . . most . . . of . . . your . . . time? Technique 24 What Do You Do non A sure sign youre a Somebody is the conspicuous ab- sence of the question, What do you do? (You deter- ine this, of course, but not with those foursome dirty words that label you as either a merciless networker, a social climber, a gold-digg ing husband or wife hunter, or someone whos never st ringlet butterflyed along Easy Street. ) Technique 25 The Nutshell Resume (apna character bhale he acha ho , alag alag log say miltay ho apna parichay bluealtay raheyay lekin woh topic apna original ho) Just as job-seeking top managers roll a different written resume off their printers for each(prenominal) position theyre applying for, let a different true story about your professional life roll off your tongue for each listener. Before responding to What do you do? ask yourself, What possible interest could this person have in my answer? Could he refer business to me? Buy from me? assume me? Marry my sister? Be place my buddy? Wherever you go, pack a nutshell about your own life to work into your communications bag of tricks. Technique 26 Your private Thesaurus ( dude means that u shud use different words of same meaning in A simmer down dude way ) Look up some common words you use every day in the thesaurus. Then, the ali ke(p)s of slipping your feet into a new pair of shoes, slip your tongue into a few new words to see how they ? t. If you like them, start making permanent replacements.Remember, only ? fty words makes the difference between a rich, creative vocabulary and an average, centrist one. Substitute a word a day for two months and youll be in the verbally elite. Technique 27 Kill the Quick Me, too ( jaldee mat kehna, mujay bhee but thoda wait karna chaiyay fir thoday tym k baad kehna chaiyay ) Whenever you have something in common with someone, the longer you wait to reveal it, the more moved (and impressed) he or she will be. You emerge as a con? notch big cat, not a lonely little stray, hungry for loyal connection with a stranger. P. S. Dont wait too long to reveal your shared nterest or it will seem like youre being tricky. Technique 28 Comm-YOU-nication ( pehlay aap ) Start every appropriate condemnation with you. It immedi- ately grabs your listeners attention. It gets a more p ositive response because it pushes the preen button and saves them having to translate it into me terms. When you sprinkle you as liberally as saltiness and pepper throughout your conversation, your listeners ?nd it an irresistible spice. Technique 29 The unshared Smile (use happydent sumtym LOL,issmile usee ko do JO hamay pasand aae ) If you ? ash everybody the same smile, like a Confed- erate dollar, it loses value.When meeting groups of people, grace each with a distinct smile. Let your smiles bugger off out of the beauty big players ? nd in each new face. If one person in a group is more important to you than the others, reserve an especially big, ? ooding smile scantily for him or her. Technique 30 Dont Touch a Cliche with a Ten-Foot rod ( koi NOOB jaisa word mat bhakna) Be on guard. Dont use any cliches when chatting with big achievers. Dont even touch one with a ten-foot pole. Never? not even when hell freezes over? not unless you want to sound dumb as a doorknob. Inst ead of coughinging up a cliche, roll your own clever phrases by victimization the adjacent technique.Technique 31 Use Jawsmiths Jive (Rhymin words but u Gotta be cool and only U ) Whether youre standing behind a podium facing thousands or behind the barbecue grill facing your family, youll move, amuse, and motivate with the same skills. Read speakers books to pull quotations, pull pearls of wisdom, and get gems to tickle their funny bones. Find a few bon mots to let casually slide off your tongue on elect occasions. If you want to be notable, dream up a crazy quotable. Make em rhyme, make em clever, or make em funny. supra all, make em relevant. Technique 32 Call a jigaboo a Spade ( mentally ille log ko bade mainstay tarah he maana chaiyay.. Dont hide behind euphemisms. Call a spade a spade. That doesnt mean big cats use insipid four-letter words when perfectly decent ? ve- and six-letter ones exist. Theyve simply intimate the Kings English, and they speak it. Heres some ot her way to tell the big players from the little ones average by listening to a few transactions of their conversation. Technique 33 Trash the Teasing ( kabhe bhe group talk may paiso so related Kisee aadmi par topic ya joke nahe karna chaiyay ) A exsanguinous giveaway of a little cat is his or her proclivity to tease. An aboveboard joke at someone elses expense may get you a cheap laugh. Nevertheless, the big cats will ave the last one. Because youll bang your head against the glass ceiling they construct to keep little cats from stepping on their paws. Never, ever, make a joke at anyone elses expense. Youll wind up gainful for it, dearly. Technique 34 Its the Receivers Ball ( bad news ko smile,a relaxd whali breath k saath yaa thoda udaaseen ho expression kum he dikha kar batana chaiyay) A football player wouldnt last two get the better of of the time clock if he crazye blind passes. A pro throws the ball with the recipient always in mind. Before throwing out any news, keep your receiver in mind. Then deliver it with a smile, a sigh, or a sob. Not ccording to how you feel about the news, but how the receiver will take it. Technique 35 The Broken Record (Pagaal ko log ko PAGAL banaanay ka ek he tarekaa,unchaahe baat puchnay par ek he baat ka REPETITION key jiyay) Whenever someone persists in questioning you on an unwelcome subject, simply repeat your original response. Use barely the same words in precisely the same tone of voice. Hearing it again usually quiets them down. If your rude interrogator hangs on like a leech, your next repetition never fails to ? ick them off. Technique 36 Big Shots Dont Slobber (fattu log key tarah mat khaday raynaTAREEF jaldee say na karna.. alkee yeh kehna aap nay yeh sab kia mujay essay khushii mile DHANYAWAAD) .. People who are VIPs in their own right dont drivel over celebrities. When you are chatting with one, dont acclaim her work, simply say how much pleasure or insight its given you. If you do single out any o ne of the stars accomplishments, make sure its a recent one, not a retrospection thats getting yellow in her scrapbook. If the queen bee has a laggard sitting with her, ? nd a way to involve him in the conversation. Technique 37 Never the Naked Thank You ( thankU ko dilsay badachadakar bolo) Never let the phrase thank you stand alone. From A o Z, always follow it with for from Thank you for asking to Thank you for zipping me up. Technique 38 Scramble Therapy ( do sumthin CRAZY bro ) Once a month, scramble your life. Do something youd never dream of doing. Participate in a sport, go to an exhibition, hear a lecture on something totally out of your experience. You get 80 percent of the right lingo and insider questions from just one exposure. If you take a append of blue litmus paper and dip it in a large vat of acid, the tip turns pink. If you take another blue litmus paper and dip it into just one minuscule drop of acid on a glass slide, the tip turns just as pink.Compare this to fighting(a) in an activity just one time. A sampling gives you 80 percent of the conversa- tional value. You learn the insiders questions to ask. You start using the right terms. Youll never be at a loss again when the subject of two- measure(a) interests comes upwhich it always does. Technique 39 Learn a dwarfish Jobbledygook ( dude u gotta show interest in their lyf interest abt things which they lyk) Big winners speak Jobbledygook as a second language. What is Jobbledygook? Its the language of other professions. Why speak it? It makes you sound like an insider. How do you learn it? Youll ? d no Jobbledygook cassettes in the language section of your book barge in, but the lingo is mild to resolve up. Simply ask a friend who speaks the lingo of the crowd youll be with to teach you a few opening questions. The words are few and the rewards are manifold. Technique 40 Baring Their Hot waiver (PEOPLE k characters and status ko dekhkar achay saawal pucho widout TENSION) Before jumping blindly into a bevy of bookbinders or a drove of dentists, ? nd out what the hot issues are in their ? elds. Every industry has burning concerns the after- tame(prenominal) universe of discourse hit the sacks little about. Ask your informant to bare the industry buzz.Then, to hot up the conversation up, push those buttons. Technique 41 Read Their Rags ( uska man pasand out of bounds dekho uskay bare may jaankar eekata karoo) Is your next big client a golfer, runner, swimmer, surfer, or skier? ar you attending a social function ? lled with accountants or acid Buddhistsor anything in between? There are untold thousands of periodical magazines serving every imaginable interest. You can dish up more information than youll ever need to sound like an insider with anyone just by reading the rags that serve their racket. (Have you read your latest copy of Zoonooz yet? ) Technique 42Clear Customs Before putting one toe on foreign soil, get a book on make and taboos around th e terra firma. Before you shake hands, give a gift, make gestures, or even compliment anyones possessions, check it out. Your gaffe could gum up your completed gig. Technique 43 Bluffing for Bargains ( dude u wanna know the thing ,whaz it ? then buy it) PUCHtaach karo The haggling skills used in ancient Arab markets are alive and well in contemporary America for big-ticket items. Your harm is much lower when you know how to deal. Before every big purchase, ? nd several vendorsa few to learn from and one to buy from. fortify with a ew words of industryese, youre ready to head for the store where youre going to buy. Technique 44 Be a Copyclass Watch people. Look at the way they move. Small movements? Big movements? Fast? decrease? Jerky? Fluid? Old? Young? Classy? Trashy? Pretend the person you are talking to is your danc instructor. Is he a jazzy proposer? Is she a balletic mover? Watch his or her body, and then assume the style of movement. That makes your conversation partner unperceivablely real comfy with you. Technique 45 Echoing Echoing is a simple linguistic technique that packs a powerful bulwarkop. Listen to the speakers arbitrary choice f nouns, verbs, prepositions, adjectivesand echo them back. Hearing their words come out of your mouth dos subliminal rapport. It makes them feel you share their values, their attitudes, their interests, their experiences. Technique 46 Potent Imaging Does your customer have a garden? Talk about sowing the seeds for success. Does your boss own a boat? Tell him or her about a fantasy that will hold water or stay a? oat. by chance he is a private pilot? Talk about a concept really taking off. She plays tennis? Tell her it really hits the sweet spot. Evoke your listeners interests or lifestyle and weave images around it.To give your points more power and punch, use analogies from your listeners cosmea, not your own. Potent Imaging in addition tells your listeners you think like them and hints you share the ir interests. Technique 47 Employ Empathizers Dont be an unconscious ummer. say complete sentences to show your understanding. Dust your dialogue with phrases like I see what you mean. Sprinkle it with sentimental sparklers like Thats a lovely thing to say. Your empathy impresses your listeners and encourages them to continue. Technique 48 Anatomically Correct Empathizers What part of their anatomy are your associates talking through? Their eyes?Their ears? Their gut? For ocular people, use visual empathizers to make them think you see the world the way they do. For auditory folks, use auditory empathizers to make them think you hear them loud and clear. For kinesthetic types, use kinesthetic empathizers to make them think you feel the same way they do. 49 How to Make Em Think We (Instead of You vs. Me ) 1. take aim integrity Cliches Two strangers talking together primarily toss cliches back and forth. For instance, when chatting about the universally agreed- upon worlds dulle st subjectthe live onone stranger might say to the other, Beautiful festive weather weve been having. Or, Boy, some rain, huh? Thats level one, cliches. 2. Level Two Facts People who know each other but are just acquaintances often dis- cuss facts. You know, Joe, weve had twice as many delighted days this year to date as last. Or, Yeah, well, we ? nally decided to put in a swimming pool to beat the heat. 3. Level Three Feelings and Personal Questions When people become friends, they often express their feelings to each other, even on subjects as dull as the weather. George, I just love these sunny days. They also ask each other personal ques- tions How about you, Betty? Are you a sun person? 4. Level Four We Statements at a time we fall out to the highest level of intimacy. This level is richer than facts and creates more rapport than feelings. Its we and us statements. Friends discussing the weather might say, If we keep having this good weather, itll be a great summer. L overs might say, I hope this good weather keeps up for us so we can go swimming on our trip. A technique to action the ultimate verbal intimacy grows out of this phenomenon. Simply use the word we prematurely. You can use it to make a client, a prospect, a stranger feel you are already friends. Use it to make a potential romantic partner feel the two of you are already an item.I call it the Premature We. In casual conversation, simply cut through levels one and two. Jump straight to collar and four. Chemistry, charisma, and con? dence are three characteristics shared by big winners in all walks of life. Part One helped us make a dynamic, con? dent, and charismatic ? rst impression with body language. In Part Two, we put smooth small-talk lyrics to our body ballet. Then in Part Three, we seized hints from the big boys and big girls so were contenders for lifes big league. Part Four rescued us from being tongue-tie with folks with whom we have very lit- tle in common.And in Part Five, we learned techniques to create instant chemistry, instant intimacy, instant rapport. Mind boggling, isnt it? Sociologists investigate shows 1) a com- pliment from a new person is more potent than from someone you already know, 2) your compliment has more credibility when given to an unattractive person or an attractive person whose face youve never seen, 3) you are taken more seriously if you preface your comments by some self-effacing remarkbut only if your listener perceives you as higher on the totem pole. If youre lower, yourself-effacing remark reduces your credibility.Complicated, this complimenting clobber. Technique 51 Grapevine Glory A compliment one hears is never as exciting as the one he overhears. A priceless way to praise is not by telephone, not by telegraph, but by tell-a-friend. This way you escape possible hunch that you are an apple-polishing, bootlicking, egg-sucking, back- scratching sycophant trying to win brownie points. You also leave recipients wi th the happy fantasy that you are telling the complete world about their greatness. Technique 52 Carrier Pigeon Kudos People immediately grow a beak and metamorphosize themselves into carrier pigeons when theres bad news. Its called gossip. ) Instead, become a carrier of good news and kudos. Whenever you hear something complimentary about someone, ? y to them with the compliment. Your fans may not posthumously stuff you and put you on display in a museum like underslung Joe. But everyone loves the carrier pigeon of kind thoughts. Carry More Cargo than regard Another way to warm hearts and win friends is to become a car- rier pigeon of news items that might interest the recipient. Call, mail, or E-mail people with information they might ? nd interesting. Technique 53 Implied Magnificence Throw a few comments into your conversation that resuppose something positive about the person youre talking with. But be careful. Dont blow it like the well- intentioned sustenance man. Or the s outhern boy who, at the prom, thought he was ? attering his date when he told her, Gosh, Mary Lou, for a fat gal you dance real good. Technique 54 Accidental Adulation Become an undercover complimenter. stealthily sneak praise into the parenthetical part of your sentence. Just dont try to quiz anyone later on your main point. The joyful dork of your accidental adulation strikes them temporarily deaf to anything that follows. Technique 55 sea wolf ComplimentWhenever you are talking with a stranger youd like to make part of your professional or personal future, search for one attractive, speci? c, and unique quality he or she has. At the end of the conversation, look the individual right in the eye. Say his or her name and plump to curl all ten toes with the cause of death Compliment. Rule 1 stimulate your Killer Compliment to the recipi- ent in private. If you are standing with a group of four or ? ve people and you praise one woman for being ? t, every other woman feels like a barrel of lard. If you tell one man he has wonderful carriage, every other feels like a hunchback.You also make the blushing recipient uncomfortable. Rule 2 Make your Killer Compliment credible. For example, Im tone-deaf. If Im forced to sing even a simple song like Happy Birthday, I sound like a sick pig. If anyone in earshot were foolish enough to tell me they liked my voice, Id know it was hogwash. Rule 3 Confer only one Killer Compliment per half year on each recipient . Otherwise you come crosswise as insincere, groveling, obsequious, pandering, and a thoroughly manipulative person. Not cool. With careful aim, the Killer Compliment captures everyone. It works best, however, when you use it judiciously on new cquaintances. If you want to praise friends every day, employ the next technique. Technique 56 Little Strokes Dont make your colleagues, your friends, your loved ones look at you and silently say, Havent I been pretty good today? Let them know how much you pry them by k issing them with verbal Little Strokes like Nice job Well done smooth Technique 57 The Knee-Jerk Wow Quick as a blink, you must praise people the moment they a ? nish a feat. In a wink, like a knee-jerk reaction say, You were terri? c Dont worry that they wont believe you. The euphoria of the moment has a strangely numbing effect n the achievers accusive judgment. Technique 58 Boomeranging Just as a boomerang ? ies right back to the thrower, let compliments boomerang right back to the giver. Like the French, quickly murmur something that expresses Thats very kind of you. Technique 59 The Tombstone Game Ask the important people in your life what they would like engraved on their tombstone. Chisel it into your memory but dont mention it again. Then, when the moment is right to say I appreciate you or I love you, ? ll the blanks with the very words they gave you weeks earlier. You take peoples breath away when you feed their eepest self-image to them in a compliment. At last, t hey say to themselves, someone who loves me for who I truly am. Technique 60 lecture Gestures Think of yourself as the star of a personal radio free rein every time you pick up the phone. If you want to come across as engaging as you are, you must turn your smiles into sound, your nods into kerfuffle, and all your gestures into something your listener can hear. You must replace your gestures with talk. Then punch up the whole act 30 percent Technique 61 Name shower bath People perk up when they hear their own name. Use it more often on the phone than you would in person to eep their attention. Your callers name re-creates the eye contact, the caress, you might give in person. Saying someones name repeatedly when face-to-face sounds pandering. But because there is physical distance between you on the phonesometimes youre a conti- nent apartyou can spray your conversation with it. Technique 62 Oh Wow, Its You Dont answer the phone with an Im just sooo happy all the time attitude . Answer warmly, crisply, and professionally. Then, after you hear who is calling, let a huge smile of happiness engulf your entire face and spill over into your voice. You make your caller feel as hough your devil warm fuzzy smile is reserved for him or her. Technique 63 The Sneaky Screen If you must screen your calls, instruct your staff to ? rst say cheerfully, Oh yes, Ill put you right through. May I tell her whos calling? If the party has already identi? ed himself, its Oh of course, Mr. Whoozit. Ill put you right through. When the secretary comes back with the bad news that Mr. or Ms. swivel pin is unavailable, callers dont take it personally and never feel screened. They fall for it every time, just like I did. Technique 64 award the Spouse Whenever you are calling someones home, always line nd greet the person who answers. Whenever you call someones of? ce more than once or twice, make friends with the secretary. Anybody who is close enough to answer the phone is close enough to sway the VIPs tone of you. Technique 65 What Color Is Your Time? No matter how pressing you think your call, always begin by asking the person about timing. Either use the What Color Is Your Time? device or simply ask, Is this a convenient time for you to talk? When you ask about timing ? rst, youll never smash your footprints right in the middle of your telephone partners sands of time. Youll never get a No just because your timing wasnt right. How to Impress Everyone with Your Outgoing Voicemail Message And heres the secret to give the impression you are really on top of your business, change your kernel every day. Studies show that callers perceive people to be brighter and more ef? cient when they hear an updated message each time they call. If appropriate, let callers know where you are and when you intend to be back. If you have customers who need to be attended to, this is crucial. Technique 66 Constantly Changing Outgoing Message If you want to be perceived as conscientious and eliable, leave a short, professional, and tender greeting as your outgoing message. No music. No jokes. No sacred messages. No boasts, bells, or whistles. And heres the secret change it every day. Your message doesnt have to be ? awless. A little cough or stammer gives a lovely unpretentious reality to your message Technique 67 Your Ten-Second Audition ( just keep in hesitation. ) While dialing, clear your throat. If an answering machine picks up, pretend the beep is a big Broadway producer saying Nexxxt. Now youre on. This is Your Ten-Second Audition to substantiate you are worthy of a quick callback.Technique 68 The boring Caper Instead of using your partys name, casually let the pronoun he or she roll off your tongue. Forget Uh, may I speak to Ms. Bigshot please? Just announce, Hi, Bob Smith here, is she in? Tossing the acquainted(predicate) she off your tongue signals to the secretary that you and her boss are old buddies. Technique 69 I Hear Your Othe r Line(I can hear U other lynkuch kaam hai apko ussay..? When you hear a phone in the background, stop speakingin midsentence, if necessaryand say I hear your other line, (or your dog barking, your baby crying, your spouse calling you). Ask whether she has o attend to it. Whether she does or not, shell know youre a top communicator for asking. Technique 70 Instant Replay Record all your business conversations and listen to them again. The second or third time, you pick up on signi? cant subtleties you at sea the ? rst time. Its like football fans who often dont know if there was a fumble until they see it all over again in Instant Replay. Use the Six-Point Party Checklistthe Who? When? Why? Where? What? and How? of a partyas your general game plan. Now lets get down to speci? cs. Technique 71 Munching or Mingling Politicians want to be eyeball to eyeball and belly to elly with their constituents. Like any big winner well versed in the science of proxemics and spatial relationships, they know any object except their belt buckle has the effect of a brick wall between two people. Therefore they never hold food or drink at a party. Come to munch or come to mingle. But do not expect to do both. Like a good politician, chow down before you come. Technique 72 stumbler the Room When you arrive at the gathering, stop dramatically in the doorway. Then s-l-o-w-l-y survey the situation. Let your eyes travel back and forth like a SWAT team ready in a jiffy to wipe out anything that moves.Technique 73 Be the Chooser, Not the Choosee( baagha key tarah khaday mat raho.. jo bakra pasaand aaya usko manaao) The lifelong friend, the love of your life, or the business contact who will transform your future may not be at the party. However, someday, somewhere, he or she will be. Make every party a dry run for the big event. Do not stand around waiting for the moment when that special person approaches you. You make it happen by exploring every face in the room. No more ships pass ing in the night. Capture some(prenominal) or whomever you want in your life. Technique 75 Tracking Like an air-traf? controller, track the tiniest details of your conversation partners lives. Refer to them in your conversation like a major news story. It creates a power- ful sense of intimacy. When you invoke the last major or tyke event in anyones life, it con? rms the deep conviction that he or she is an old-style hero around whom the world revolves. And people love you for recognizing their stardom. Technique 76 The Business Card Dossier Right after youve talked to someone at a party, take out your pen. On the back of his or her business card write notes to remind you of the conversation his favorite restaurant, sport, movie, or drink whom she dmires, where she grew up, a high school mention or maybe a joke he told. In your next communication, toss off a reference to the favorite restaurant, sport, movie, drink, hometown, high school honor. Or reprieve the laugh over the gre at joke. Like a sales pro, ask yourself, How can I change the subject to turn this person on? Technique 77 Eyeball Selling The human body is a twenty-four-hour broadcasting station that transmits You thrill me. You bore me. I love that aspect of your product. That one puts my feet to sleep. Set the vague cameras behind your eyeballs to pick up on all your customers and friends signals.Then plan your pitch and your ill-treat accordingly. Technique 78 See No Bloopers, Hear No Bloopers Cool communicators allow their friends, associates, acquaintances, and loved ones the pleasurable myth of being above public bloopers and embarrassing biological functions. They simply dont notice their comrades minor spills, slips, fumbles, and faux pas. They obviously ignore raspberries and all other signs of human tenuity in their cranny mortals. Big winners never gape at anothers gaffes. Technique 79 Lend a Helping applauder Whenever someones story is aborted, let the interrup- tion play i tself out.Give everyone time to dote on the little darling, give their dinner order, or pick up the jagged pieces of china. Then, when the group reassembles, simply say to the person who suffered story-interruptus, Now please get back to your story. Or better yet, remember where they were and then ask, So what happened after the . . . (and ? ll in the last few words). When asking someone for a favor, let them know how mu t means to you. You come across as a straight shooter, and the joy of helping you out is often reward enough. Dont deny them th leasure Technique 80 Bare the Buried WIIFM (and WIIFY)Whenever you suggest a meeting or ask a favor, divulge the respective bene? ts. Reveal whats in it for you and whats in it for the other personeven if its zip. If any hidden agenda comes up later, you get labeled a sly fox. Technique 81 Let Em Savor the Favor Whenever a friend agrees to a favor, allow your generous buddy time to relish the joy of his or her bene? cence before you make them pay the piper. How long? At least twenty-four hours. Technique 82 Tit for (Wait . . . Wait) Tat When you do someone a favor and its obvious that he owes you one, wait a suitable amount of time before asking him to pay. Let him enjoy the fact (or ? ction) that you did it out of friendship. Dont call in your tit for their tat too swiftly(fastly). Technique 83 Parties Are for Pratter There are three sacred safe havens in the human jungle where even the toughest tiger knows he must not attack. The ? rst of these is parties. Parties are for pleasantries and good fellowship, not for confrontations. Big players, even when standing next to their enemies at the buffet table, smile and nod. They leave tough talk for tougher settings. Technique 84 Dinners for Dining The most guarded safe haven respected by big winners is the dining table.Breaking bread together is a time when they bring up no unpleasant matters. While eating, they know its OK to brainstorm and discuss the positive side of the business their dreams, their desires, their designs. They can free associate and come up with new ideas. But no tough business. Technique 85 Chance Encounters Are for Chitchat If youre selling, negotiating, or in any sensitive communication with someone, do NOT capitalize on a chance meeting. Keep the melody of your fictive meeting sweet and light. Otherwise, it could turn into your swan song with Big Winner. Technique 86 Empty Their TanksIf you need information, let people have their entire say ?rst. Wait patiently until their needle is on empty and the last drop drips out and splashes on the cement. Its the only way to be sure their tank is empty enough of their own inner noise to start receiving your ideas. Technique 87 Echo the Emo Facts speak. Emotions shout. Whenever you need facts from people about an emotional situation, let them emote. Hear their facts but empathize like mad with their emotions. Smearing on the emo is often the only way to calm their emotional storm. Technique 88 My Goof, Your Gain Whenever you make a boner, make sure your victim ene? ts. Its not enough to tame your mistake. Ask yourself, What could I do for this suffering soul so he or she will be delighted I made the ? ub? Then do it, fast In that way, your goof will become your gain. Technique 89 Leave an Escape Hatch Whenever you catch someone lying, ? lching, exagger- ating, distorting, or deceiving, dont confront the dirty duck directly. Unless it is your responsibility to catch or correct the culpritor unless you are saving other innocent victims by doing solet the transgressor out of your trap with his tricky puss in one piece. Then resolve never to gaze upon it again. Technique 90Buttercups for Their Boss ( makhhan maarkay) Do you have a store clerk, accountant, law ? rm lowly partner, tailor, auto mechanic, maitre d, massage therapist, kids teacheror any other worker you want special attention from in the future? The sure? re way to make them care enough to give you their very best is send a buttercup to their boss. Technique 91 Lead the Listeners No matter how prominent the big cat behind the podium is, crouched inside is a little scaredy-cat who is anxious about the crowds acceptance. Big winners recognize youre a fellow big winner when they see you leading their listeners in a positive eaction. Be the ? rst to applaud or publicly commend the man or woman you agree with (or want favors from). Big winnersbefore putting pen to paper, ? ngers to key- board, mouth to phone, or hand to someone elses to shake it do a quick calculation. They ask themselves Who has the most to bene? t from this relationship? What has each of us done recently that demands deference from the other? And what can I do to even the score? Remember, repeating an action makes a habit. Your habits create your character. And your character is your destiny. May success be your destiny. Cheer UP bro. ***************